The Policemen and the Pies
by I. H. Scribe
Summary: You'd think after the first time, Donovan and Anderson would learn not to insult Sherlock in front of his neighbors. Side-story to The Evils of Pie.


Fandoms: Sherlock, Harry Potter

Characters: Greg Lestrade, Sally Donovan, Philip Anderson, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes

Prompt: Also just popped into my head: the image of Sherlock getting pied, or almost pied, in front of Greg and his team, some of whom promptly piss off Harry and get their own pies.

Prompt Made By: picabone99

Pie Prompt: Blueberry Pie by notsofrilly

Safe Combination Prompt: Teddy's initials (20-18-12) by x Say x May x I x

Disclaimer: I don't own the following series(es) or any character(s) that follow, and unless _I. H. Scribe_ is listed after _Prompt Made By_ chances are I don't own the idea for this story either.

Note: Since I got quite a few pie prompts for Lestrade and his team (mostly his team), I decided to give them their own series.

* * *

Sherlock rolled his eyes as Lestrade's minions turned his flat upside down looking for the drugs they seemed to believe were hiding just out of sight. He hadn't needed to resort to cigarettes, much less other drugs, since the downstairs neighbor moved in. When he was bored, he simply went downstairs and attempted to break into the man's safe.

Speaking of which, he was bored now. While the idiots were distracted with their drug search, Sherlock snuck downstairs. He figured out the combination easily, as he always did – 20-18-12. The fun these days was figuring out what the numbers meant, as Harry never used just random numbers. Today, it seems, would be an easy one – Teddy's initials.

Sherlock took a deep breath to prepare himself and opened the safe. Duck. Twist. Duck. Step back. Duck. Jump. Step forward. Step left. Twist. Jump. As Sherlock continued to dodge pie after pie, he didn't notice that he had an audience. Finally he reached the end of the pie-filled obstacle course and attempted to figure out where today's final pie would come from.

"Sherlock, the right!" Lestrade called out, just in time for the pie to smack into the side of Sherlock's face. Sherlock wiped a bit of the filling off his face and tasted it.

"Hmm, blueberry."

Harry began clapping, "Almost got it that time, Sherlock."

"What the hell was that freak?" Donovan asked.

"He was being quite graceful," Anderson said. Had anyone else said it, it would have sounded like a joke, but with Anderson, he was just being mean.

Which might explain why Harry kicked the wall, causing two pies to shoot out of the wall across from the door and smack the two of them in the face.

"Also blueberry, judging by the color," Sherlock said.

"I could have you for assault," Anderson told Harry.

"Got a warrant?"

"What?"

"Do you have a warrant to search _my_ flat? No? Of course not. Which means I can defend myself and my property. Lucky for you, I chose to use pies, rather than something worse."

"Like the seltzer bottle. Be glad you missed that," Sherlock said.

"What seltzer bottle?" Lestrade asked.

As if in answer, the seltzer bottle appeared out of nowhere and headed straight for Anderson's groin.

"Where the hell did that even come from?" Harry asked.

* * *

As always, I am accepting prompts, however, I am not accepting prompts through reviews. If you wish to give me a prompt, please see the Accepting Prompts section of my profile for instructions. Thank you.

I. H. Scribe

* * *

To avoid multiple requests for the same thing, the other prompts I've gotten for this story (and will get to eventually) are:

Pies: Banana Pie; Banana-Kiwi Pie; Blackberry Pie; Black Pudding and Haggis Pie; Cheesecake; Chicken Pie; Chicken Pot Pie; Coconut Pie; Custard Pie; Egg Pie; French Silk Pie; Goo Pie; Gooseberry Pie; Gravy Pie; Ice Cream Cake; Ice Cream Pie; Ink Pie; Kidney Pie; Marmalade Pie; Marshmallow Pie; Mud Pie; Mushroom Pie; Mustard Pie; Onion Pie; Pecan Pie; Pie Flavored Pie; Pineapple Pie; Rhubarb Pie; Sand Pie; Skittle Pie; S'mores Pie; Stew Pie; Strawberry Pie; Tomato Ketchup Pie; Vegetable Pie; Vinegar and Milk Pie

Safe Combinations: #4 Privet Drive (04-16-04); Hedwig, Snuffles, and Crookshanks (08-19-03); Hermione's initials (08-10-07); ICU (09-03-21); LOL (12-15-12); Luna Lovegood's Initials (12-19-12)Percival Wulfric Brian (16-23-02); PIE IS AWESOME (16-09-01); Ron's Initials (18-02-23);

**Policemen and Pies Prompts**

Anderson: gets pied; gets pied a lot

Anderson and Sally: Grasshopper Pie; gets pied via Teddy's accidental magic; Harry sets up pies in their house after hearing them call Sherlock freak


End file.
